The Sign Guy

In the past three years or so something has arisen as a new career. These people - usually young, good looking men and women - stand on street corners with large signs directing you to an apartment complex or condo conversion. The signs usually have a big arrow on them and display whatever the deal of the day is. Sometimes, the boys holding the signs are enthusiastic and spin the signs or throw them up in the air. More often, the sign holders do as little as possible besides holding the sign.

Every day for the last three years on my way to work I pass through a pretty bad neighborhood called Rosemont. The Publix where I used to grab lunch had a shooting in the parking lot recently. So did the Albertsons (before it closed). And the Bank of America drive thru. And a daycare across the street.

I also pass a sign guy advertising for an apartment complex. This sign guy is different. First of all, he is NOT good looking. He is missing teeth and looks like he hasn't bathed in weeks. Second, he is always wearing a costume. For Thanksgiving he switches between a pilgrim and an Indian. For Christmas he is Santa. For Valentine's Day he is Cupid. For American holidays like Memorial Day and July 4th he is Uncle Sam. The costumes are always grungy and look like they haven't been washed in years. Nothing about any of this would ever make me turn to inquire about the apartments.

But today was the holy grail. Today he was dressed as a ..... bum. I'm thinking he just didn't wear a costume. But I swear he was wearing EXACTLY what I would put on to portray a bum. I laughed out loud as I passed.