You know how the saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side? Since Tootsie was born, I have been grappling with this. When I was first at home with him, I have to admit I got kind of bored. I was ready to come back to work after eight weeks. But then when I came to work, I wanted to be home with him. It was hard to leave him at daycare. So I settled for working 30 hours per week. I could still be considered full time for benefits, but I got to leave at 2:30 to pick up my little man and spend the afternoon with him.
In February, it all changed. Due to the financial constraints, I had to go back to work full time. Now I don't get home until six, and Tootsie goes to bed at 7:30ish. It really sucks.
I feel like I am in a constant game of tug-of-war with myself.